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<  The Ministry of Magic  ~  Flashbacks within a story

southern_witch_69
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 4:24 am Reply with quote
Joined: 13 Feb 2005 Posts: 27 Location: Louisiana / USA
Someone that I am doing a beta job for needs to have a flashback. I am not certain about the proper way she should introduce that portion of the story. I know she could simply tell it in past tense, which gets a bit tedious, she could put it in italics, or she could type something that reads 'FLASHBACK.'

I am uncertain which of these would be best. I think it's rather lengthy, so I don't know that italics would work best. In what tasteful way would it be suggested that she handle this?

SW69

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pipedreamer
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 8:18 am Reply with quote
Joined: 28 Apr 2005 Posts: 44 Location: Newcastle, UK
A good way of writing flashbacks is to use italics and the present tense; i.e. -

she looks into his eyes and realises he is leaving her. As he turns away, she starts to cry

I've found it to work pretty well.

Hope this helps

pipedreamer x x x

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celisnebula
Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 1:31 am Reply with quote
Joined: 31 Dec 2004 Posts: 312 Location: USA
southern_witch_69 wrote:


I am uncertain which of these would be best. I think it's rather lengthy, so I don't know that italics would work best. In what tasteful way would it be suggested that she handle this?

SW69


It depends on how lengthy it is and what she might want to do with it. If it's something that could possibly be set up as a chapter on it's own, that might work, otherwise, you may have to go the italicised route.

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Metamuse
Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 1:35 am Reply with quote
Site Admin Joined: 28 Nov 2004 Posts: 475 Location: USA
I wouldn't put big black letters saying Flashback.. that should be written in the narrative to let the reader know what happened I would usually think.

Say that she commonly uses ********* for scene changes I would use something different but shorter... ----- perhaps centered.

Or have the character leading up to it... (The next text is horribly written but it's what popped off the top of my head.)

Hermione sat back in her chair and remembered the day of...

Then using italics.

There are several ways to make it pleasing and not gaudy. As a reader myself, I always hated reading ***FLASHBACK*** it kinda seems the author can't write the scene appropriately to indicate there is a flashback going on.

Hope this helps you SW.

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southern_witch_69
Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 2:12 am Reply with quote
Joined: 13 Feb 2005 Posts: 27 Location: Louisiana / USA
Thanks, mates! I appreciate that. I think using the text with him saying he remembers her birthday to tell us there is a flashback will work for her and then the italics. She has a couple of pages of memories to add in.

Cheers,

SW69

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azazello
Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 5:18 pm Reply with quote
Joined: 29 Nov 2004 Posts: 183 Location: Northern UK
There are a number of ways, but I always tell authors I beta read for that the pluperfect is your friend.

Most standard narrative is done in past historic tense:

He walked along the road.

Therefore flashback is easiest if you simply go one text back:

He remembered he had been walking along the road...

Italics is fine (though less is always more for my old eyes).

Typing: ****FLASHBACK**** is in my not so humble abysmal. You never see this in book fiction, because the skill is in delineating clearly that the person whose point of view we are following is recalling bygone events.

Alternatively, you can use a fairly straightforward shift:

As he closed his eyes, Snape reluctantly remembered the day his parents had argued over his going to Hogwarts... (this bit tells the reader exactly what is about to happen, but it is not cheating! - you can then put the actual events of the recalled scene into italics and any reader can follow the logic)

I won't have the boy go to some stupid bloody school to learn a load of bloody mumbo jumbo and nonsense, do you hear me?

His father had been red with rage, and his mother had cringed in terror...


yada yada, and so on...

AVOID: *****FLASHBACK***** like the plague, it makes readers like me hit the back button in seconds, and it would be so easily corrected.

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southern_witch_69
Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 5:56 pm Reply with quote
Joined: 13 Feb 2005 Posts: 27 Location: Louisiana / USA
I feel the same way about the long amount of italics. It's not that I mind them, but after awhile, my eyes start playing tricks on me. hehe I'm gonna paste these replies to her and see what she thinks. As of right now, we are going with the text shift and then italics. My main concern was the length.

In truth, I was even thinking that since it was so long that maybe she could just fit it in where it goes since it's the same chapter. Say Hermione's birthday is on day x, and we see things from her pov. Well, later on, she wants Snape to recall it from his pov in the form of a flashback. I hated to misguide her. I would probably try to work it in somehow at the same time without jumping pov too much.

Thanks so much.

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